First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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