just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
