I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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