She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
