I must be too annoying 4 u.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
