If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
