6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
