Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
