You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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