And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
