arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
