if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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