She said her name was "party"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
