I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
