Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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