You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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