You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
