Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
