so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
