We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
