you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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