i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
