I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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