Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
