so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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