If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
