he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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