Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
