Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
