is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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