no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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