Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
