dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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