You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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