I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
