idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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