drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
