Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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