The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
