Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
