i think my mom watched the whole time
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
