You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize