oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
