I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, beer. Big fan.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
