I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
