i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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