Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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