Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
