there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
