I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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