Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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