i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
