no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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