at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
