i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize