Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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