I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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