i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
