Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
