Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
