its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
