I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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