Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
