I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
