p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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