Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
