That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Text me some of your sweat
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