So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
