It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize