wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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